radiant fracture

So the trouble is that most of what's on my mind right now concerns teaching -- and man, do I have a lot of thoughts of all kinds about teaching -- torrents -- but it seems indiscreet, at best, to post about them here, under this increasingly thinly veiled pseudonym. There are locked posts, of course, but that only allows for so much sense of having desteamed. I need another journal to journal about the things I can't journal about in this journal -- a common, yet very historically recent, plaint.

-- Actually, no, double-bookkeeping of journals has a solid lineage. Anais Nin, for a recent case. I wonder about Pepys. Yet I can barely keep up one outdated unread backwater-of-the-Internet journal.

I will say I have met more people in the last nine months than in the previous nine years. I've already been moved and fascinated and delighted and startled several times.

I love grammar even more now. I certainly understand it much better, and it keeps yielding little mysteries to me. Lately, my knowledge of depdendent clauses has become richer. I've always been an instictive rather than an architectural poet, but the lessons I teach make me curious to test the joints of language, to flex and rotate its limbs.

I do suffer from all kinds of anxieties around both teaching and thinking about teaching, so that sometimes I have to compartmentalize ideas I'd like to explore further, lest they drag anxiety into too many other parts of my life. This is an oddly consuming, even invasive, profession. (Is that your experience, reader?)

Anyway, it's a sunny morning in grammarland, so I am going to flex my physical joints, and save the marking for the evening (which is increasingly difficult to tell apart from the day. (O summer.))

{rf}